RELATIONSHIPS
Tips For Navigating A Relationship With Mismatched Libidos
By ALANI VARGAS
Be Considerate
Differing sex drives isn’t a bad thing, but it is something that needs to be addressed in order to ease tension and find a solution. Sex and dating coach Myisha Battle suggests laying out a schedule — it’s great to start setting “sexpectations” to let both of you know what to expect, what you want, and what is comfortable.
Find Intimacy In Other Ways
Connecting with your partner through ways other than touch, like going on fun dates, will help build emotional intimacy. Alternatively, sex therapist Shannon Chavez says that non-sexual things like eye-gazing are a great way to reconnect, since “connection builds safety and closeness where erotic energy can develop.”
Get Creative With Pleasure
Sex with your partner doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing thing if you’re both on the same page. According to sex therapist Gila Shapiro, masturbating while having your partner watch or help is a great happy medium for couples, as it can stave off horniness for one partner while involving the partner with the lower libido.
Take Time For Yourself
A study conducted by Jacqui Gabb, Ph.D. on sex drive fluctuation and how it impacts long-term relationships found that “happy couples reported feeling more ‘themselves’ when they took time to focus on themselves every now and then.” Absence makes the heart grow fonder, so don’t be afraid to take your alone time.
Don’t Take It Too Seriously
Along with cutting the tension, laughing and joking around have been reported to increase emotional connection and intimacy. Dealing with mismatched libidos can be stressful, but it’s not a reason to break the bond you have with your partner, so remembering not to take sex too seriously is a great cure.