How To Embrace Oystering After A Breakup

Every breakup happens in its own unique (and uniquely painful) way. They can be sudden, heartbreaking, guilt-inducing, and straight-up awkward. Often, it may seem like the end of an era. Whether you're the one instigating the split or the one feeling left behind, a breakup can be life-changing, leaving you to wonder, "What do I do now?"

Enter a trending dating concept called "oystering." Instead of sinking into a post-breakup depression, oystering is the idea of celebrating your new freedom and recognizing that the world is now your oyster (via Glamour). Freshly single, you can take all that relationship energy and redirect it into whatever you want — whether that means dating, travel, or revisiting long-abandoned hobbies.

As relationship counselor Lia Holmgren described oystering to Shape, "You're ready to learn, explore, and have fun anytime, anywhere, and with anyone you want. It's something great to hold onto during a breakup, no matter if that breakup ended badly or on good terms."

So, how can you embrace oystering and get the most out of this positive thinking trend?

It's no secret or surprise that when you're in a relationship, a lot of your focus goes toward connecting with your partner. You naturally want to spend time together, learn more about each other, and try to make each other happy. But this can mean less time and energy to spend on yourself.

When it comes to oystering after a breakup, you can take this as a positive opportunity to redirect attention back to your own personal priorities and self–growth.

This will look different for everyone and can include any kind of social, physical, or spiritual development (via Thrive). Maybe you want to start taking yoga classes, reconnect with old friends, or finally finish that memoir you've always dreamed about. Or maybe you want to pursue career development or even go back to school. If it's important to you, it's fair game!

Ultimately, self-growth in the wake of a breakup simply means putting yourself first (for once) and giving yourself the space to evolve while you enjoy the upsides of the single life.

Aside from pursuing self-development goals like a new journaling habit, oystering is also a fantastic way to push yourself to try new things. Use your newfound freedom to travel, go skydiving, or visit all the tourist attractions in your area that locals usually overlook. Stretch your mental and social limits, and you can end up broadening your horizons in some really exciting ways.

While it may seem counterintuitive, these adventures can also include getting out there to meet new romantic prospects. But with oystering, this doesn't have to fit your stereotypical idea of a rebound.

​​"Dating is daunting after a relationship, but it doesn't need to be," explains Sophie Mann, dating expert at British-based dating app Badoo (via Stylist). "Ultimately, dating should be fun, and what better way to get over a breakup than having some fun? We've seen many people getting back into dating, and we predict this new trend of seizing the 'dating' day will shine through as many singletons are feeling confident to go out there and get what they want."

And that's it in a nutshell: oystering is about rediscovering who you are, what you want, and what you deserve. While any breakup is bound to stir up unpleasant feelings, try this positivity-driven, post-dating trend to remember that you aren't defined by any relationship. You define yourself!