The Biggest Red Flags In Selena Gomez And Taylor Swift's Friendship

Forget #couplegoals — right now, we're all about aspirational friendships, like the well-known bond between "Emilia Pérez" star Selena Gomez and "Shake It Off" singer Taylor Swift. Swift and Gomez first met in 2008, when both women were entangled with Jonas Brothers, and it was a case of besties at first sight. "We clicked instantly and, man, that was my girl," Gomez told WSJ Magazine in 2020. Swift echoed her sentiment in the same interview, saying, "I knew from when I met her I would always have her back."

However, every friendship faces trials and tribulations. Speaking exclusively to Susan Trombetti, matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking, Glam found out that even Gomez and Swift may hit occasional speed bumps in their longtime sisterhood. "When it comes to red flags in Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez's relationship, there do seem to be some," Trombetti cautions. From friend-group in-fighting to getting judgmental about romantic partners, here are a few potential landmines that the two stars should handle with care.

Mixing disparate friend groups can be a little like acclimating two tomcats: rife with wariness, territorial behavior, and maybe even a little hissing. Even when everyone plays nice, it can be awkward, especially if certain personalities just don't gel. The one consolation? Friend jealousy can happen to anybody, even celebrities like Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez. Apparently, the latter is quite possessive of her popular pal.

"Gomez is said to have discord with some of Taylor's other friends," Susan Trombetti exclusively tells Glam, and this is supported by alleged inside information. As one anonymous source told the Daily Mail, "Selena feels like she has matured out of Taylor's circle of friends. ... She has no desire to be out with Blake [Lively], or Ice Spice, or Brittany [Mahomes], or really any of those girls." On the upside, a little discord isn't unusual. "All friends sometimes can be suspect of your other friends, and it doesn't matter if you are famous or not," says Trombetti. "I think what is going on here is pretty normal."

In that case, what could make friend-group friction a red flag for Swift and Gomez? It comes down to how this jealousy and possessiveness manifests. "I think the problem with this would be if [Gomez] tries to influence them," says Trombetti. After all, it's one thing to have critical opinions in your head and a totally different thing to start making waves in an otherwise stable social circle. Fortunately, Trombetti doesn't see signs that this has happened yet. "I think Gomez is respectful," the matchmaker says, and as long as things stay that way, Swift and Gomez may be able to head this red flag off at the pass.

A little jealousy probably won't tank a friendship, but things can start to get messier if two close buddies actively dislike each other. No one wants to navigate being stuck in the middle while two of your friends are feuding. Unfortunately, rumors persist that Selena Gomez may not gel well with one of Taylor Swift's other best gal pals. As Susan Trombetti exclusively tells Glam, "Gomez doesn't like Swift's good friend Blake Lively as much."

The evidence? For one thing, Gomez and Lively are almost never at intimate gatherings together, including those hosted by Swift, even though both have been buddies with the "Bad Blood" singer for a decade plus. There also aren't any public photos of the duo being friendly, either on the red carpet or in a casual selfie. And in a 2016 interview with Elle, Gomez raised eyebrows by putting distance between herself and Lively, saying, "I wish she was my friend, but she's not my friend."

All that said, the tension between Gomez and the "Age of Adaline" star might not remain a problem if we keep seeing red flags in Taylor Swift and Blake Lively's friendship. "I do think Taylor and Blake have suffered some knocks recently, so [the Gomez/Lively discord] might not even be an issue. It is believed that Blake Lively's relationship with Taylor has suffered as a result of Blake involving her in the Baldoni drama," explains Trombetti, referencing the ongoing maelstrom of litigation building between Lively and her "It Ends with Us" co-star, Justin Baldoni, which may end up dragging Swift to court and putting a damper on the women's friendship. As Trombetti concludes, we — and Gomez — will have to wait and see which way the wind blows: "Who knows what will happen? ... Time will tell if Taylor is sort of done with Blake."

Taylor Swift is known to be a real girl's girl, but everybody has their limits — and the "Cardigan" singer hasn't always been circumspect in her disapproval of Selena Gomez's romantic partners. Specifically, Swift was less than enthused every time Gomez rekindled her on-again, off-again relationship with pop icon Justin Bieber throughout the 2010s. For instance, Swift famously stuck out her tongue and made a yuck face when she noticed Gomez and Bieber exchanging cheek kisses backstage at the 2013 Billboard Music Awards.

We can't exactly blame Swift for getting protective of her friend — after all, the "Jelena" pairing so beloved by fans was also the tumultuous relationship that inspired all of Selena Gomez's best revenge outfits. As Swift told WSJ Magazine, "In my life, I have the ability to forgive people who have hurt me. But I don't know if I can forgive someone who hurts her."

Fortunately, Gomez seems tolerant of Swift's unvarnished opinions, even when they might be painful to hear. "You know, with Taylor, I value her support and her opinion so much, because she's super honest," Gomez told iHeartRadio in 2025. As long as such blunt communication comes from a place of love — and not "yuck" faces — Swift and Gomez may be able to turn this red flag into a green one.

So, Taylor Swift hasn't instantly loved all of Selena Gomez's partners. It happens. However, it's been suggested that Gomez was similarly reserved when Swift started dating professional football player Travis Kelce. "Selena thinks Taylor going to games and galavanting through New York immediately after just meeting Travis is something that is very unlike her," an insider told Page Six in October 2023. "It didn't come from a malicious place, and it's not that she doesn't like them together. She's just concerned about the way it's being navigated."

Fair enough — that rush to get serious and meet each other's families is one of several red flags in Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce's relationship. Moreover, it's healthy for friends to be protective of one another. "This is normal ... for friends to have opinions on your romances," matchmaker Susan Trombetti exclusively tells Glam. "They are only looking out for you and have your back."

But while honesty is crucial, criticizing a new S.O. can create strain between friends if not handled delicately. Case in point, Trombetti recalls, "Remember that Prince William didn't like the speed Prince Harry took with Megan Markle. Look what happened to them." If you don't already know, "what happened" is that Harry and William had a major falling out and have barely spoken for years. Fingers crossed that Swift and Gomez can avoid the same fate. At least now that the "Speak Now" singer has been dating Kelce for a longer time, Gomez seems more supportive of the duo, even sneaking references to the couple into "Only Murders in the Building." We'll take this as a good sign.

While they may not be in a romantic relationship, close friends Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez face many of the same challenges that plague famous couples — namely, their busy, jet-setting schedules and the weight of intense media scrutiny. "Most friendships don't play out in the public eye. ... There could be issues with stress because of the scrutiny and the public looking for dirt," Susan Trombetti exclusively warns Glam. "For example, when Selena had her transplant, it was said Taylor didn't support her."

Trombetti is skeptical of this criticism, though. "Of course, Taylor would support her friend, and this is the media just looking for drama," she says. True, it would be pretty out of character for Swift to leave Gomez hanging at such a critical moment. As a source told ET after Gomez sought mental-health services in 2019, "Taylor has always been a constant source of comfort for Selena, and aside from having a great friendship, the two are able to connect on a level that most will never understand." 

There's also the practical concern that both women are busy mega-stars that spend a lot of time globe-trotting, meaning it's not always easy for them to meet up and water the roots of their bond in person. As a second source told the Daily Mail in 2024, "Life, in a good way, is the reason Taylor and Selena don't hang out often anymore. ... Taylor is on the biggest tour ever and trying to juggle that with seeing Travis. Selena is busy with 'Only Murders in the Building' and her relationship with Benny. There just aren't enough hours in the day for them to get in a hang." Sadly, there's not an easy solution to this logistical problem. To overcome the red flag that is their own celebrity status, Swift and Gomez will just have to make a conscious effort to stay in touch, no matter the distance.