Red Flags In Ellen DeGeneres & Portia De Rossi's Marriage From Our Matchmaker

When comedian and talk show host Ellen DeGeneres first met "Arrested Development" star Portia de Rossi, sparks flew on both sides. "We were just supposed to be together," DeGeneres told People in 2005. Speaking to People 16 years later, de Rossi recalled, "I remember thinking that she was the coolest, most fascinating, beautiful, funniest person I'd ever met." In fact, de Rossi credits her partner with empowering her to live her truth, even though it can be difficult to support your partner after they come out.

Eventually, the couple married in 2008, and since then, they've been among the most visible LGBTQ+ couples in Hollywood, if not the world. However, their aspirational love story may not be bulletproof; from early rumors of tension at home to recent upheaval in their careers, DeGeneres and de Rossi's marriage has faced a lot of roadblocks. And, unfortunately, they're likely to encounter more as time goes on.

For an expert perspective on the couple's future chances, Glam spoke exclusively to Susan Trombetti, matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking. "When it comes to Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi ... they have been together for a long time and have weathered all sorts of things," Trombetti acknowledges, adding that they are likely "a couple that is struggling." This high-profile duo may have logged years together so far, but Trombetti points out several glaring red flags that the couple needs to face.

Some celebrity breakups come out of left field, but others are visible a mile away. With Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi, skeptics point to ongoing rumors of marriage trouble as proof that the couple might be headed for choppy waters. As early as 2014, media outlets began wondering if the pair was on the verge of breaking up, prompting DeGeneres to clap back with a published essay on the state of their love. She shut down more rumors the very next year, but the murmurs of trouble in paradise never quite subsided.

More recently, the tepid reception for the comedian's 2024 Netflix special, "Ellen DeGeneres: For Your Approval," apparently contributed more fodder to the rumor mill. An unnamed source told InTouch that year that the failed special "only intensified the talk among Ellen and Portia's remaining pals in Hollywood that their marriage is in terrible shape." The duo's next move — a joint skincare line called Kind Science — didn't help matters. "Ellen starting a skincare business with Portia reeks of desperation and suggests that it's hell at home if they need this new project to work on," said the source.

Of course, speculation isn't the same as fact, but it is telling that DeGeneres and de Rossi's relationship has been consistently questioned. "Where there's smoke, there's fire, and rumors have persisted, for at least the last 10 years, about these two being on the rocks," Susan Trombetti exclusively tells Glam. "If we heard a year from now that they split, no one would be shocked."

For 19 years, Ellen DeGeneres was a staple personality on daytime TV, but during the early parts of the COVID-19 pandemic, reports about the show's toxic work environment started coming out, including allegations of everything from huge pay cuts during quarantine to the unequal treatment of guests. As the unpleasant anecdotes piled up, DeGeneres became persona non grata — "Ellen's talk show scandal has rocked her and made her a very hated person," observes Susan Trombetti — and eventually led the long-time show to be canceled in 2021.

As one might expect, DeGeneres struggled with the sudden collapse of her television career. "I got kicked out of show business," she quipped during her Ellen's Last Stand ... Up Tour show in Los Angeles in early 2024 (via The Guardian). "I became this one-dimensional character who gave stuff away and danced up steps. Do you know how hard it is to dance up steps? Would a mean person dance up steps? ... I'm making jokes about what happened to me, but it was devastating, really. ... It took a long time for me to want to do anything again."

While DeGeneres' candidness is refreshing, Trombetti thinks that it's only further evidence that the comedian probably brought her work woes home. "She talks in her Netflix special about being kicked out of show biz. It must be hard on the relationship," Trombetti explains. It can be exhausting to support a partner who's grieving any type of loss — career included — so a lot of pressure may have fallen on de Rossi to help carry her wife through the trauma of this public scandal.

In the wake of Ellen DeGeneres' show cancellation, Portia de Rossi surely had to help her navigate this new, post-television reality. But on top of the emotional labor of providing such support, there's also the practical issue of suddenly spending so much more time together. While it sounds like a good thing on paper, it's important for each partner in a relationship to have breathing room, and DeGeneres' abrupt retirement may have thrown their usual orbits out of whack.

"Ellen being retired definitely changes the dynamic. Being a talk show host means working lots of hours. So now that Ellen is suddenly home all the time this leaves Portia lacking space," Susan Trombetti exclusively tells Glam. Sure enough, an anonymous source reportedly told InTouch that "Ellen being home all the time has taken a toll on their marriage. And Portia isn't working much either. They're always in each other's face, and frankly, they're getting on each other's nerves." The source added, "[Portia] doesn't have her space. Every time she turns around, there's Ellen."

To be fair, DeGeneres and de Rossi wouldn't be the first couple to struggle with the new normal of being at home all the time. "Any retirement comes with a new dynamic to the relationship," Trombetti says. However, she warns that this may be an especially difficult case. First, there are the still-swirling reports of DeGeneres' secret mean-girl streak, with Trombetti telling us, "Her rumored mean persona may exist at home or may not." But even if DeGeneres isn't normally waspish to her wife, the tumultuous nature of her retirement probably left the long-time host angry, bitter, and grieving her imploded career. Until she's had time to process the loss, this could contribute to increased friction at home — and in her connection with de Rossi.

During the scandal that caused Ellen DeGeneres' downfall, a lot of accusations were thrown at the comedian. For instance, former mentee Grayson Chance told Rolling Stone in 2022 that he'd "never met someone more manipulative, more self-centered, and more blatantly opportunistic" than DeGeneres. Speaking to InTouch in late 2024, one anonymous source even expressed concern that DeGeneres is trying to isolate her wife, saying, "Getting out of Southern California only increases the incredible control Ellen has had over Portia for years, and Ellen clearly had a reason to want to increase that level of control."

Susan Trombetti agrees that any overbearing tendencies could be a major red flag for the health of their marriage. "Ellen's controlling nature could be a problem. She appears to be the dominant force in the relationship, and the one with the power. This isn't good," Trombetti exclusively cautions Glam. "It's said Portia may have put her career aside for Ellen. ... Sometimes there is resentment."

Publicly, the reason for de Rossi's retirement has been written off as weariness with the rigors of public appearances and TV interviews. When de Rossi appeared on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" in 2018, her wife explained for her, "You aren't a big fan of doing press shows and talk shows, so thank you for being here." DeGeneres then added for the audience, "That's why she actually quit acting." As outsiders, it's hard to confirm de Rossi's motivations, as well as whether DeGeneres is domineering in their relationship. Ultimately, this red flag depends on the true nature of their private dynamic. "As long as there is some understanding, balance, and alignment, it could still work," says Trombetti. However, their recent move out of Los Angeles could make the situation more volatile.

In 2024, Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi decided to leave California — their home of decades — and relocate to the Cotswolds, a notoriously charming and cottage-studded region of England. This relocation took many by surprise, though DeGeneres and de Rossi are no strangers to moving house. During their time on the West Coast, the spouses regularly bought and flipped houses around Santa Barbara before moving on to a new address. By April 2023, DeGeneres had reportedly flipped more than 50 properties across SoCal, including some historically significant sites. "I don't really travel a lot. So, house flipping is my version of travel," DeGeneres told The RIV Magazine in 2023. "With house flipping, the scenery changes though I stay in the same general area. Only in a new place and from a new perspective."

This close-to-home attitude makes the couple's big transatlantic move all the more unexpected. But in terms of red flags, the most dangerous aspect of an international transition is putting so much distance between themselves and their support networks. There's no evidence to suggest DeGeneres or de Rossi had any strong roots or acquaintances in the Cotswolds before settling into the area, and it can be difficult to rebuild those connections. On top of potentially coping with homesickness, this lack of outside relationships could place extra strain on the duo as they have to lean on each other more than usual.

"[DeGeneres] left the country for a fresh start to get away from this scandal, which is pretty hard," Susan Trombetti exclusively tells Glam. As she sums up the situation, "This recent move across the pond is either going to make them or break them as a couple. We will see!"