5 Types Of Kisses (And How To Decode Them)

As a society, we're pretty preoccupied with kissing. No rom-com sees the credits roll without that final, happy-ending smooch, and the Top 40 chart isn't complete without at least a few songs using the word "kiss" in their titles. There's even an entire scientific discipline dedicated to the study of kissing, known as philematology. But why do we lock lips in the first place, and what do all those different kisses mean?

While it's pretty hard to pin down the origins of kissing, scientists have theorized that it began as an aspect of mate selection — like an audition to see if you gel with a potential partner. As psychiatrist Dr. Glenn Wilson told the BBC, "Kissing is used by everyone as a bonding and testing mechanism." Furthermore, the physical closeness of kissing may facilitate the exchange of pheromones, chemicals that can silently communicate attraction and arousal. In modern terms, this all means that kissing can be a good way to figure out if you have romantic chemistry with someone.

However, not all kisses embody the same message and intent. There are nuances to the art of touching lips, from where you kiss someone to how you kiss them. For example, a quick smack on the cheek doesn't have the same vibe as a slow, open-mouthed kiss on the neck. So, if you're trying to decode a partner's kissing patterns — or find the right style of lip contact to express your own feelings — differentiation is key. Here are a few common types of kisses and what they may mean.

While some hot-and-heavy kisses are strictly sensual, other kissing styles aren't as clear-cut. For instance, cheek and forehead kisses tend to be less about passion and more about communicating love and support. This affection can be either romantic or platonic, making cheek and forehead kisses fair game for lovers, friends, or relatives.

"There are various types of kisses to express different emotions and messages," licensed marriage and family therapist and relationship coach Alix Agar told The Knot. "Some are intimate and passionate, while others are friendly and comforting." Agar adds that cheek kisses, in particular, can be "a common way of greeting someone or thanking them after an event." In some parts of the world, like many European and Latin American countries, cheek kisses are casual and expected, almost like exchanging a handshake. So, if your Italian coworker showers your cheeks in air kisses, don't get ahead of yourself — it's not necessarily a sign of romantic intent.

Forehead kisses are in the same vein, though they tend to carry a more parental, protective feel. "This kind of kiss is most often given to show care, affection, or protection, so a forehead kiss feels like an 'I've gotcha,' or 'you're safe here,' kiss," licensed marriage and family therapist Rachel Wright explained to Well + Good. "There is definitely an endearing quality to a forehead kiss, which indicates a level of compassion or care from the other person."

Movies manage to make passionate kisses look easy and natural, but they aren't always the first step in a budding relationship. Early on, gentle, closed-mouth kisses can be a way to determine your compatibility with a new prospective partner. As body language expert Katia Loisel explained in a Facebook video, "In the courtship or pre-dating stage, a closed-mouth kiss is respectfully cautious, and a way of testing the waters." As your relationship grows closer, this can also be a way to spark romance. "There's ... a difference between a quick peck on the lips and a soft, lingering kiss that's more a slow, purposeful brush of lips," Loisel acknowledged.

However, according to Loisel, sharing nothing but perfunctory closed-mouth kisses may be a sign of stress, distraction, or disconnect in established relationships. "If you're coupled up and always on the receiving end of a closed-mouth kiss from your partner, with little of anything else, it could be a sign of a lack of intimacy in your relationship and perhaps some underlying issues." Try checking in with your partner to see if they have something on their mind that's killing the mood. You can also look for other signs that your emotional connection with your significant other is strong to ensure that this is just a blip on the radar of everyday life and not a symptom of more significant problems.

When it comes to love and romance, kisses are so much more than a simple brush of skin. They light up our brains with a mix of happy chemicals known as dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin. While we're kissing, these chemicals produce feelings similar to a natural high. Deep kisses can be especially potent. Studies even suggest that long-term couples should probably be making out more, as it correlates with happiness in a relationship.

"It appears that there is something unique about kissing that is related to relationship satisfaction in a way that sexual intercourse is not," researcher Rafael Wlodarski told Women's Health. They haven't solved the chicken-and-egg question about this link yet — do happy couples make out more, or does making out make couples happier? — but Wlodarski added that "the two are certainly related" and that sex and kissing display "different relationships with intimacy between romantic couples."

This might suggest that kissing is more intrinsically tied to an emotional connection versus sex, which can sometimes be more focused on a physical release. So, if you take your time enjoying deep kisses rather than rushing to get to other types of intimate affection, it could be an indicator that you and your partner are reveling in a bond that's growing roots. Or, if you're hoping to nurture such a connection, try the viral "6-second kiss" to boost your connection with your partner by replacing absent-minded pecks with slow, intentional kisses that hold space for romance.

Some kisses are soft and gentle, but others ... not so much. If you like your foreplay to have a rough edge, you can do a little nibbling or biting to get your teeth involved in a kiss. And while little nibbles may remain playful, biting kisses are often an indicator of raw passion and connection. "Devouring or being devoured by your lover can be a most intimate act," somatic sexologist Jaiya told The Knot. "This form of kissing can ignite a delicious power dynamic and edge into your make-out sessions."

In addition to providing a visceral way to express desire, toothy kisses like hickeys and love bites can also reveal a possessive streak. The bruising left behind by hickeys can be a way of marking territory, driven by our age-old biological imperative to find and retain a mate. Conversely, receiving a hickey can be a badge of desirability. And like deep kisses, hickeys trigger the release of oxytocin, the so-called "love hormone," which can leave partners feeling extra connected after the exchange of love bites. In short, nipping at your partner is one potential way to express urgent, primal attraction.

If you think about it, letting someone close enough to put their lips on your neck demands a certain amount of trust. Your throat is a delicate area that houses important arteries like the jugular — in other words, it's a potential weak point. But this can be a good thing when connecting with an intimate partner. Sex and romance are often so heart-pounding because they make us vulnerable, and letting down your defenses for someone to touch or kiss your neck can be a thrill. Drawing attention to your neck can even be a sign of interest. In fact, new couples tend to subconsciously tilt their heads to expose their necks more and more as they get comfortable with each other.

There's also a straightforward physical component to the eroticism of neck kisses — namely, our necks have a lot of sensitive nerve endings, which can make neck kisses feel all the more stimulating. Kisses on or around your ears can have a similar effect, as the ears contain over 25,000 nerve endings and are erogenous (read: sensitive and arousing) zones for many people, making them a quick shortcut to exhilaration.

Of course, not everyone has the same erogenous zones, so some people may not be interested in neck or ear nibbles — or French kissing, or even forehead kisses. In fact, some people don't like smooches anywhere, anytime. If this sounds familiar, you're not alone: Read up here on reasons why you might hate being kissed.