Red Flags In JD And Usha Vance's Marriage, According To Our Matchmaker

Lawyer turned author turned politician JD Vance has rocketed to fame as the incoming vice president in Donald Trump's second administration. Known for extreme views on topics like mass deportation, which Vance supports, it may come as a surprise to learn that the VP is actually married to an Indian-American woman, Usha Chilukuri Vance. The two met as students at Yale Law School in 2013 and married the following year. While JD has since gone on to craft a social and political persona of outspoken anti-woke rhetoric, Usha worked at a San Francisco law firm noted for its progressive reputation, only leaving that position when her husband was named as Trump's VP pick.

If this sounds like a case of strange bedfellows, you're not alone in that view. For expert insight into this seemingly odd couple, Glam turned to Susan Trombetti, matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking. While Trombetti acknowledges in our exclusive conversation that "people find some things weird about their marriage," she explains that "marriages are made of two people, and sometimes people can be a little broken and a work in progress." Looking at JD and Usha Vance, the relationship expert initially sees many strong points. "To sum it up, I think they both don't always agree ... but they have each other's backs. If they can't reconcile all the politics within their own cultural and personal beliefs, they certainly navigate it well, and it's only within the nuances of the relationship that the rest can speculate."

However, there are also some ominous peculiarities in their partnership, plus a bevy of external pressures that could turn into red flags if not handled properly. Looking at the Vances' current and future relationship, Trombetti suggests that JD and Usha could face trouble on various fronts — from their wildly different upbringings to the dramatic political demands of the vice presidency.

Both culturally and economically, JD and Usha Vance bring unique backgrounds and perspectives into their marriage. In many ways, this can be a strength, but it also requires a delicate touch to navigate day to day. "They come from two very different worlds which could have a huge disparity between the two," Susan Trombetti exclusively warns Glam.

As for JD, she notes that "it's amazing what he has done with his life even before he became the VP-elect," but as she also points out, "He comes from an unstable childhood." JD's parents divorced when he was very small, and his mother struggled with substance abuse, leaving him to be raised primarily by his grandmother in an area of Ohio termed "The Rust Belt" for its precipitous fall from industrial grace. This has understandably raised some issues in JD's ongoing life — as billed on the back of his own book, "Hillbilly Elegy," JD's childhood was "the true story of what a social, regional, and class decline feels like when you were born with it hanging around your neck."

While some critics have questioned the veracity of "Hillbilly Elegy" as a representation of poor white America — The New Republic called it "little more than a list of myths about welfare queens" — it certainly paints a vivid picture, and one that shows a stark difference from Usha's experience growing up in a vegetarian Hindu household in the suburbs of San Diego. "Usha comes from a middle-class background and family and that has to present unique challenges for her, such as when navigating his emotional landmines ... " Trombetti observes. Love can bridge a lot of divides, but the vast gulf between JD and Usha's lived experience could be alienating if not handled with care.

Conflict resolution is a big part of a healthy marriage, but JD and Usha Vance's unique backgrounds have also given the pair different triggers and emotional toolkits. Namely, it seems like JD has trauma and Usha has to deal with it. "I see JD coming from an extremely humble beginning if [his memoir] is accurate," says Susan Trombetti, "and he is bound to have issues such as the ones he discussed in his book." Indeed, JD Vance has been very upfront about his childhood trauma, recounting many difficult anecdotes throughout "Hillbilly Elegy." This includes his struggles to understand the lasting effects of his raising and continued difficulties with anger management.

"Even at my best, I'm a delayed explosion," JD wrote in his memoir (via The New York Times). "I can be defused, but only with skill and precision. It's not just that I've learned to control myself ... but that Usha has learned how to manage me." Points for self-awareness, but it's not easy navigating a relationship with someone quick to anger. Moreover, the health of a partnership can't and shouldn't rely on one partner constantly walking on eggshells. "That cannot be good for a marriage, so he has to keep that in check," Trombetti exclusively tells Glam. "What does she do? Lock herself in the bathroom to navigate it as if he turns into a werewolf during the full moon?"

" ... I understand that he has childhood issues that bubble up because a lot of people do," Trombetti goes on but argues that this is no excuse to put the burden of healthy communication all on Usha. In fact, doing so could damage the equanimity and respect in their partnership. "Navigating his childhood trauma creates an emotional imbalance that might feel more like her being the mom and him the toddler with tantrums." That's certainly not the dynamic that any married duo strives for, nor is it a sustainable model for a happy family.

Unfortunately, it seems that JD isn't a fan of therapy — as he also wrote in his book, "Talking to some stranger about my feelings made me want to vomit." For the sake of the Vances' marital bliss, though, JD needs to find some other way to start dismantling his emotional minefield and taking some peacekeeping duties off of his wife.

As vice president, JD Vance will often need to present a united front with President Donald Trump — no matter what twists and turns the administration takes. While it's certainly possible to handle a relationship with someone who has different political views, being married to the VP is a different level of magnitude, and politics could stress JD's relationship with his wife Usha Vance. Usha is notoriously tight-lipped with her opinions but was a registered Democrat until 2014, the same year she married JD. Her political views may have evolved in the decade since, but it wouldn't be shocking for her to disagree with at least some of Trump's policies.

Now that Usha's husband is Trump's right-hand man, this is sure to produce a little friction — especially around controversial policies like anti-immigrant legislation. Speaking exclusively to Glam, Susan Trombetti points out that JD is now "part of an administration that vows to have mass deportation on day one. That has an anti-immigrant feel that incites the masses, notwithstanding that his wife and children are Indian and she is a woman of color." While Usha was raised in California, she is a second-generation immigrant, with her parents originally hailing from India. "You have to wonder how they truly feel about Trump vowing to send back people who are here legally," adds Trombetti. "There are cultural and racial policies within the old administration and coming within the new that seem to collide with Usha."

Of course, just because JD is on Trump's ticket doesn't mean that their views totally align. If JD's stances on things like immigration are more moderate, they may be less of a sticking point at home. But there will be times that his role as vice president may involve getting his hands dirty with political work that seems off-putting to Usha, or even to JD himself. This is a potential red flag that will require careful communication and work-life boundaries to prevent any resentment or festering — or, as Trombetti puts it: "compartmentalizing their personal beliefs from their political stance."

JD and Usha Vance share three children together: sons Ewan and Vivek and daughter Mirabel. While this nuclear family seems important to JD — he's certainly been vocal in his opinions about "childless cat ladies" who choose to live without children — he sometimes has an uncomfortable way of showing affection for his kids. For one thing, JD has a habit of labeling them as Usha's, rather than "ours." As Susan Trombetti exclusively explains to Glam, "He has referred to his children numerous times as her children. I could see if she were a stay-at-home mom, perhaps, but she has a great career just as he does. ... They have equal ownership of the children, so where are his vested feelings?"

On Substack, body language expert Dr. Jack Brown offered a similar analysis. "When JD Vance says, 'My wife has three children,' — he does not refer to his wife by her name (Usha). He also does not refer to any of his three children by name (Ewan, Vivek, and Mirabel). And most importantly (red lights flashing, sirens blaring) — he doesn't acknowledge himself as his daughter's/sons' father (i.e., 'Usha and I have three children'). All three of these are significant distancing behaviors."

If that red flag wasn't enough, JD also made an eyebrow-raising comment about his children at an October 2024 campaign rally in Pennsylvania, which can still be viewed on YouTube. In an awkward attempt to compliment well-behaved families in the crowd, he said, "Maybe I should trade you my kids for a couple of weeks. You can knock some sense into them." Somehow, we doubt that any of this went over well with Usha, potentially creating a point of contention in the relationship. And even if JD's comments were just foot-in-mouth gaffes, they invite extra examination and criticism from the public, adding yet more pressure to the situation.

While analyzing sore spots in the partnership between JD and Usha Vance, Susan Trombetti acknowledges that we can only glean so much from an outside perspective — especially about a couple whose every public move is dissected for its political meaning. "When it comes down to red flags in Usha and JD Vance's relationship, I see some, but they are two very smart people. They might be playing the system for power and position, and that is what some people see as red flags," Trombetti exclusively tells Glam. In other words, the JD and Usha that we see may be an intentional, politically motivated facade that does not reflect the reality of their romance behind closed doors.

On the upside, that could suggest that many of the visible red flags in their relationship are just accidental side effects of scripted speeches and showmanship rather than real rifts. On the downside, though, that kind of constant performance has to take a toll, creating new problems of its own. We've noted before how intense publicity puts stress on relationships, including other semi-political figures — for instance, constant media attention is one of the red flags between Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.

This intense pressure isn't only on JD, either. While he may bear the brunt as incoming VPOTUS, Usha will also take on responsibilities as second lady. It's not a position Usha sought out — as she told "Fox & Friends" before the election, "I'm not raring to change anything about our lives right now." Post-election, it looks like change is inevitable, though, and with that comes a lot of attendant visibility. Protecting their private lives will be a notable challenge for the Vances in the coming years, but as Usha added, "I don't know that anyone is ever ready for that kind of scrutiny."