Psychologist Tells Us 5 Phrases To Help Keep The Peace With Almost Anyone

Arguing with another person is never fun, especially when you're on completely opposite pages. Unfortunately, disagreements are a fact of life, and while they're unpleasant in the moment, they can be helpful to relationships if there's a resolution. In fact, there are even benefits to arguing with your significant other, like learning what to do better next time. The key to a productive argument is keeping the peace while emotions are high, which can admittedly be difficult. When conversations escalate, it's easy to talk over one another, and that's when things turn left.

Before that happens, you need to take a deep breath and steer the argument in a more positive direction. It may seem impossible when both parties are aggravated, but the Director of Nobile Psychology, Dr. Catherine Nobile, PsyD, exclusively shared with Glam ways to pivot the convo with a few simple but effective phrases. When you don't see eye to eye with someone, the way to keep the peace is by letting the other person know that you hear them, and with Dr. Nobile's tips, you'll be on your way to healthier discourse with just about everyone in your life.

Let's face it: People tend to argue about things they're passionate about. Otherwise, why put in the time and energy? However, passion can quickly lead to a full-blown fight, but before that happens, Dr. Catherine Nobile advises us to say, "I understand this is something you care about." She exclusively explains to Glam, "By recognizing that the other person cares about the issue, you validate their emotions. This acknowledgment can make them feel heard and understood, which is crucial in diffusing tension."

Even if you don't agree with the other person and have a different argument style, you're showing them that you care about their feelings, which can help soften their stance. "It will also let them know that you are paying attention to them and what they have been saying," Dr. Nobile adds. Allowing the person to see that their words have meaning will break down any walls they have up and can ultimately lead to an understanding between the two of you.

An ideal end goal of a disagreement is to come up with a resolution rather than walk away unhappy. According to Dr. Catherine Nobile, to de-escalate a situation, we should ask someone during a dispute, "How can we get on the same page?" The mental-health expert exclusively tells us, "This question encourages both parties to move forward with the conversation rather than engage in conflict. It also invites each person to consider their words carefully, promoting more thoughtful and beneficial communication."

With this method, you're pivoting the other person from a combative stance to a more productive mindset. Dr. Nobile adds, "By asking this question, you invite the other person to participate in helping you find a solution." And if you work to come up with a resolution as a team, you're now both on the same side instead of opposing ones. Sounds like a win-win situation to us!

The next time you're faced with a verbal spat, instead of disagreeing with the person, try doing the exact opposite. Dr. Catherine Nobile exclusively shares with Glam that a helpful phrase in any argument is, "I think what you're saying makes a lot of sense." She states, "This phrase steers the conversation away from conflict, redirecting it to a dialogue where the two individuals can explore solutions rather than focusing on confrontation."

We can all admit that we want to be right, and while we can't be all the time, it's nice to feel like we are sometimes. Giving that verbal validation can help the other person feel a sense of justification in their reasonings and allow them to lower their guard, Dr. Nobile explains. In turn, they'll hopefully extend the same grace to you, and you'll be on the same page before you know it.

When two (or more) people are arguing, it's hard to really listen to each other, which is why, sometimes, you may not realize that everyone wants the same goal. If you take a step back and say, "I think we are saying a lot of the same things," it will give all parties involved a moment to pause and reflect, Dr. Catherine Nobile exclusively tells us. "This phrase can help the situation de-escalate by letting the other person know you relate to what they are saying, understand, and even agree with it," she explains.

Dr. Nobile also points out that in the heat of the moment, words can get misconstrued. "We often have the same view as someone but explain it differently, causing misunderstanding. Acknowledging this common ground creates a sense of connection that can soften the conversation," the psychologist clarifies, adding that "[i]t also encourages the other person to listen more openly," as they're reassured that both of you want to settle the matter at hand.

It's frustrating when a disagreement seems like a never-ending loop or you feel the tension mounting. According to Dr. Catherine Nobile, that's when you should suggest to the other person, "I don't like where this conversation is going. Can we come up with a solution instead?" She explains, "It first addresses the conversation's discomfort and then invites a shift towards a solution-oriented goal. This can help diffuse negative emotions by steering the conversation away from potential escalation."

By expressing your unease at where the conversation is heading, you're setting clear boundaries in a respectful but firm manner, Dr. Nobile exclusively shares with Glam. At the same time, you're allowing space for a positive exchange that's more solution-based. The main takeaway is to encourage healthy exchanges while acknowledging others' feelings and remember that fighting with a loved one is a journey, not a battle to win.