Fail-Proof Ways To Hook Your Crush From The Get-Go

Navigating the heart-pounding longing of a crush can be such a bittersweet experience, whether you're casting lingering glances or plucking flower petals in a bout of they-love-me, they-love-me-not desperation. It can also fire up a lot of nerves when you try to shift your relationship from the friend zone to something more. After all, the road to romance is littered with hidden traps and potential pitfalls. So, how can you set yourself up with the best chance of success?

Plenty of romantic gestures can make you seem more attractive, from making your dreamboat their favorite meal to engaging in a little consensual cuddle time. But if you're wooing a friend or still in the getting-to-know-you stage, these gestures might seem like you're coming on strong. For a subtler approach, start laying the romantic groundwork with a few science-backed hacks, like smizing or wearing some surprisingly irresistible fragrances. These tiny tweaks can up your attractiveness and help capture your crush's undivided attention.

Aficionados of noughties reality TV may remember Tyra Banks waxing poetic about "smizing" on "America's Next Top Model." This modeling technique is all about smiling with the eyes, creating a mysterious and alluring look, but it isn't only handy for aspiring models. Letting your smile reach your eyes can also help give your crush butterflies.

According to science, smiling is generally better than a neutral or frowning countenance. A 2013 study published in Cognition and Emotion tested the link between facial expressions and perceived attractiveness, concluding that "attractiveness is strongly influenced by the intensity of a smile expressed on a face." In fact, the authors found that "a happy facial expression could even compensate for relative unattractiveness."

While any smile can help set the right tone, smiling with your eyes can really set off sparks. Numerous studies have pointed out the advantages of a Duchenne smile, which is basically a genuine, positive smile that also uses the muscles around your eyes. For instance, another article in Cognition and Emotion, this one published in 2015, found that Duchenne smiles rated higher on qualities like authenticity, attractiveness, and trustworthiness — all positive traits that could help you stand out to your crush.

Scent may not be the most glamorous of the five senses, but it's one of the most powerful. Not only is scent intertwined with memory and emotion, but it can also significantly impact desire. That's why we're constantly being sold on pheromones, but reeling in a mate may not be as simple as dousing yourself in estrogen or testosterone. As pointed out by The Smell Report from the Social Issues Research Center, pheromones that are attractive in fresh sweat can be off-putting once they dry, and even the menstrual cycle can impact how pheromones are emitted and received.

Rather than doubling down on pheromones, the report suggests that choosing pleasant fragrances can influence confidence and sensuality. But what kind of smells get the job done? Well, musky perfumes can really help men get noticed, with The Smell Report pointing out that musky fragrances are roughly 1,000 times stronger to women than men.

Alan R. Hirsch, the neurological director of the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago, Illinois, identified a few other leading contenders. In his book, "The Real Science of Sex Appeal," Hirsch examined the impact of fragrances on arousal. Among men, he found that the smells of lavender and pumpkin pie led the pack, increasing "blood flow to the penis" by 40%. While women also responded positively to these scents, they were more moved by cucumber and licorice. And if you're looking for a fragrance that crosses cultural divides, a 2022 study in Current Biology found that vanilla is a pretty universally beloved scent. Fragrance experts have even done deep dives into why vanilla is adored by consumers and perfumers alike.

Red is a hue with many associations. In color theory, it's often used to denote strength, confidence, and, yes, passion. This powerful shade has even spawned viral trends like the TikTok's red nail theory, which argues that a fiery manicure can help up your attraction quotient. While this may sound like yet another social media exaggeration, science suggests that red can actually help amplify your desirability to both men and women.

One 2010 study in the Journal of Experimental Psychology looked at the factors that influenced men's attractiveness across the globe, including a spread of participants from England, Germany, China, and the U.S. Across the board, researchers perceived what they called the "red effect," with women rating the same men as more attractive when they were shown wearing red or placed against a red background.

Similar results have been found regarding the male gaze. A 2008 study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that men reacted more favorably to a woman in a red shirt. Specifically, male respondents "perceived her to be more attractive, were more sexually attracted to her, and indicated a greater likelihood of asking her on a date and spending money on a date with her." So, if you're going for subconscious allure on the next outing with your crush, consider adding a pop of red lipstick or putting aside that classic LBD for an LRD — little red dress — instead.

Humor has been connected to romantic compatibility since time immemorial. This isn't a secret technique or even a surprise, but it is scientifically backed. In fact, one 2010 experiment in The Journal of Psychology found that "targets with a good sense of humor received significantly higher ratings of attractiveness and suitability." However, there's one often-overlooked element that could help make or break the way your crush sees you: Men and women define their ideal sense of humor differently.

A survey conducted at renowned Canadian research institution McMaster University revealed the mismatch. "There's a difference between producers (those who make you laugh) and receptors (those who laugh when someone cracks a joke)," explained Eric Bressler, the graduate student who undertook the research (via ScienceDaily). "Women choose men who produce humor 62% of the time; conversely, men choose women who appreciate their humor 65% of the time." 

In other words, women like men who make them laugh, and men like women who respond to their jokes. Additionally, the survey found that men were more likely to categorize a funny woman as a potential friend rather than a potential partner. Depending on the target of your romantic overtures, these small but crucial differences could mean the difference between impressing your crush or missing each other like two ships in the night. Consider moderating your humor just enough to encourage a rapport without losing yourself in the process.

If the popular romance subgenre of "forced proximity" has taught us anything, it's that even an unlikely couple can take the enemies-to-lovers route if they share the same space for long enough. Okay, in real life, this is somewhat of an exaggeration — some differences are too irreconcilable, and some pairings just lack chemistry — but it turns out that the link between proximity and attraction isn't totally off-base.

A 2010 study in the International Journal of Innovation, Management and Technology examined how physical closeness impacted friendship bonds. The authors concluded that "friends who stated that they share the same room or same town were shown to have high scores on interpersonal attraction." The study also cited previous research that supported their findings, including the book "Social Pressures in Informal Groups," which found that people living on the same floor scored higher on attractiveness than those in other buildings or even on a different level of the same building.

Why does this work? In an article published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, psychologist Robert B. Zajonc famously hypothesized back in the '60s that "mere exposure" breeds a comforting familiarity. In essence, the more we encounter a certain person or stimulus, the more likely we are to regard it positively — a fact you can leverage by consistently making time for your crush. Just be sure to keep your interactions authentic and respect their boundaries. You want to maximize your time together without seeming like a stalker or manufacturing unbelievable meet-cutes.