How To Nail A Good First Impression, According To Science

They say that you only get one chance to make a first impression. True enough, the human brain loves leaping to conclusions, so whether you're walking into a job interview or putting yourself out there on a first date, there's a lot of power in that initial assessment. It might even be the deciding factor in getting a job offer or a second date. This begs the question: How can you ensure you're making a good first impression rather than a disappointing one?

To break it down, we trawled through research and even reached out to a professional. Glam spoke exclusively to New York City-based relationship expert and bestselling author Susan Winter, who provides intuitive, thought-based dating advice, and Winter was quick to acknowledge the significance of any inaugural meeting. "First impressions are immensely important, especially because so many people are dating online. You have only a few seconds to capture someone's attention," the expert warned us.

In other words, you need to come into every new relationship — romantic, professional, or otherwise — with your A-game ready. But what does that really look like? Between Winter's guidance and studies from the scientific community, we've identified some key moves that will help you nail a good first impression in any setting.

Some people suggest playing hard to get, but when meeting new people, this is less effective than a welcoming personality. As Susan Winter exclusively explains to Glam, "Having a positive disposition signals ... that you'll be friendly, enjoyable, and an asset. In both work and romance, no one wants to be saddled with a negative person."

You've probably met someone who fits this bill: They're competent and intelligent, but they're also a drag to be around. While pessimism may not be a deal-breaker for some HR departments — or potential partners — it's hardly the best strategy, leaving the door open for more charming candidates. "Humans are attuned to the feeling they get upon meeting someone new," Winter adds. "Are they comfortable or uncomfortable? And given the opportunity to make another selection, a negative disposition will be the first to be eliminated."

Scientifically speaking, Winter's advice is right on the money. A study published in Psychological Science last year measured the impact of two behavior patterns on likability: "friendly" and "benevolent" communal behaviors versus "dominant" and "confident" agentic behaviors. When trying to connect with a specific person, the researchers found that a warm, communal manner won hands-down. It's worth noting that a dash of confidence helped research subjects' overall popularity, but in the realm of one-on-one first impressions, it was less important — and even counterproductive. Friendliness, therefore, seems like a much more reliable option. As Winter sums it up, "Projecting a warm and affable personality is always a winning combination."

Embodying friendliness is an easy step toward better first impressions, but to foster even deeper connections with new friends, you'll have to put yourself out there a little — namely, you'll need to introduce an aspect of trust. In conversation with Wired, Harvard Business School social psychologist Dr. Amy Cuddy discussed research presented at the PopTech thought forum in 2012. Her thesis boiled down to this: Rather than valuing the classic combo of strength and confidence, as we've thought for decades, people actually form first impressions based on warmth and trustworthiness.

But how do you build trust quickly? According to Dr. Cuddy, you build trust by displaying trust. In a business setting, this could mean letting the other party speak first or prompting them to open up with a friendly question. This shows that you trust their expertise is worthwhile and that you're ready to hear their case.

In a social or romantic setting, displaying trust might mean letting someone else take the lead on a few upfront decisions — say, letting them suggest a restaurant or pick an appetizer to share. Placing even a small choice in their hands communicates trust on your part, which Dr. Cuddy marks as the first step toward receiving trust in return. As a bonus, surrendering the decision-making reins highlights your flexibility, which can be a key mindset for happy relationships.

We've already covered how positivity and trust are two cornerstones of a good first impression, but this isn't only about the words you say. Your demeanor is also conveyed through the silent communication of body language. That's why it's so crucial that your physicality projects the same warmth and openness as your dialogue.

One 2023 study in The International Journal of Advanced Research in Science, Communication, and Technology emphasized the importance of body language on first impressions, even providing concrete recommendations for improving your initial perception. The study suggested receptive body language like consistent eye contact, upright posture, an open stance, and nodding or leaning in to show that you're actively listening and engaged in the conversation. The study's authors also encouraged one of the easiest and most recognizable gestures of welcome: a heartfelt smile.

Susan Winter makes a similar recommendation. "Given the opportunity to smile, do so," Winter exclusively advises Glam. "Humans feel more aligned with someone who has an agreeable and friendly personality. A warm smile is the clearest indication of this at first glance. As long as your smile isn't forced, fake, or uncomfortable, it will make a great first impression." Pro tip: If you're aiming for a successful romantic connection, attentive body language can also be one of the best ways to scientifically ensure a good first date.

Small talk has earned itself a pretty bad reputation. At best, it sounds like a boring conversation about the weather, and at worst, it brings to mind a painful, stilted exchange with someone you barely know. But it turns out that a little well-executed small talk might be a valuable shortcut to creating positive first impressions.

In her aforementioned talk with Wired, Dr. Amy Cuddy made no bones about the crucial role that idle chatter can play. "Making small talk helps enormously," Dr. Cuddy told the outlet. "Establish trust by collecting information about the other person's interests — get them to share things about themselves. ... Research proves that five minutes of chit-chat before a negotiation increases the amount of value that's created in the negotiation."

It makes sense if you think about it. Small talk, while inane at first glance, is a doorway into humanizing yourself to new acquaintances. It allows you to learn about their likes and dislikes while sharing your own; it gives you a way to display your natural sociability in a low-stakes conversation; and it potentially offers a path to introduce some casual humor into your exchange. After all, there's a reason so many small-talk clichés have a hackneyed, dad-joke feel — they hit the balance of lighthearted, comfortable familiarity that puts everyone at ease.

In both your career and your love life, charm will only take you so far. While tricks like positivity and inviting body language can help you craft a solid first impression, that impression may quickly fade if you have no shared values to cement your worth with a new acquaintance. That said, one of the best ways to hack your first impression is to make people see you as valuable. Why? Because meeting someone new activates the same part of your brain that associates monetary prices with objects.

For instance, a hiring manager wants to see that you're both likable and capable of doing the job, so showcasing your relevant skills in an interview adds merit to your application. Meanwhile, a serious romantic partner likely wants to find someone with similar interests or life goals. Qualities like a complementary sense of humor, a shared love of adventure, or matching love languages are among the things that can contribute to a healthy, long-lasting relationship.

Finding common ground may be especially important if you flub other aspects of your first meeting. "Can a bad impression be mended further down the road? That depends upon the other qualities that one possesses," Susan Winter exclusively tells Glam. "If you share a great passion or interest with the person you're meeting, an awkward conversation can evolve into a productive flow." In short, while first impressions are critical, we must never forget that people have the ability to change their minds — if you give them enough good reason to. As Winter reminds us, "If you possess other qualities that are of high value to your date, oftentimes they can override their discomfort with a bad first impression and give you another chance."