If You Hate Getting Gifts, Here's Why

The act of gift-giving is an ancient and universal human behavior that enhances trust, cooperation, and communication between individuals. Therefore, most associate the exchange of gifts between friends or family members as a joyous affair. And yet, many people prefer not to be on the receiving end of the gift-giving ritual. For gift-hating folks, receiving gifts can be an anxiety-inducing situation that provokes complex feelings of guilt, shame, and even low self-worth. For instance, a person in this situation might feel pressured to find a gift that measures up to the one they receive, creating an unwanted sense of obligation to reciprocate. Perhaps this individual isn't blessed with a talent for gift-giving, so shopping for a gift in return may feel stressful — in which case, addressing the gifting disparity and learning how to become a better gift-giver may alleviate this uncertainty.

Similarly, many people find it stressful to respond to well-meaning but entirely off-piste gifts from friends who believe they're much better at picking out presents than they truly are. And while you may appreciate the sentiment and feel grateful for the kind gesture, this does not make it any less uncomfortable when you have to pretend to enjoy an ill-fitted gift. To that end, people who shy away from receiving gifts may do so because they feel guilty or conflicted.

People who hate receiving gifts sometimes get trapped in a cycle of guilty thoughts due to feelings of inadequacy or low self-worth. "We might feel guilty when somebody spends time or money on us because deep down, in some situations, we might not think that we're worthy of it, or like we're not somehow measuring up to what we should be," licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Andrea Bonior tells CNN. Dr. Bonior explains that these individuals might also feel uncomfortable receiving compliments or attention. Receiving gifts, therefore, stirs up the belief that you don't deserve it.

What's more, some people feel guilty when receiving gifts if they believe there are strings attached. In this case, instead of feeling grateful, you might feel you owe the other person for presenting you with a gift. For example, the gift receiver could perceive the gift as a desire to deepen a new relationship or communicate a future favor, stimulating feelings of indebtedness and obligation. In these circumstances, any gratefulness and positive associations with the gift and gift giver become tainted by guilt.

Your aversion to receiving gifts may also boil down to the disappointment you feel when you receive gifts you don't need or want. If you dislike the gifts you receive, it's understandable to feel misunderstood, inconvenienced, and conflicted. For instance, of the 2,000 individuals who participated in a 2020 survey conducted by OnePoll, approximately 62% admitted to lying, at some point or another, about liking and using a gift (via People). 

Moreover, a Reddit user asked why people hated receiving gifts, and one commenter gave some valuable insight: "Because I always get something that I don't want or need but I have to act like it's the greatest gift ever. And then I have to keep it." Similarly, another user said, "I feel guilty if I don't like it, chances are they've got me something I'll use once/never." Therefore, unwrapping a poorly chosen gift tends to stimulate guilt and disappointment toward that individual for missing the mark. When you're put on the spot, it exacerbates these uncomfortable feelings, as you have to outwardly project emotions that don't align with how you truly feel to protect the gift giver's feelings and avoid coming off as ungrateful or insensitive.

That said, receiving gifts is always a nice reminder that, at the very least, you have people in your life who are thinking of you. If you're someone who hates receiving gifts, remember that gift-giving is a thoughtful gesture, and it generally symbolizes someone's care, appreciation, or love toward you.