Friendship Therapy: The Benefits Of Talking It Out With Your BFF

One of the most important components of our mental health tool kits is finding the right therapist. For many, therapy is an essential part of feeling understood and making sense of life. Our desire for connection and feeling heard shows just how important close relationships are to us in this human experience. Because we are social creatures, friendship is vitally important to us living a full and happy life, and The Mayo Clinic reports that adults who maintain healthy friendships throughout life are happier than those without. They experience less depression, obesity, and fewer heart problems. Friends are with us through our celebrations and our traumas. Because friends are so important to us, it makes sense that we would want to invest time and energy into keeping our closest friendships thriving. This may be why some people are putting their friendships on top of their priority lists with friendship therapy.

If you're interested in finding a therapist who will provide a space for you and your friend to come to connect and communicate, you're not alone. Friendship therapy is becoming a common practice in the therapy world, and it may just be the best investment you'll make.

We all know there is nothing like spending quality time with our best friends. There is something special about not having to explain yourself or feel like you need to be a different person, because our best friends know us better than anyone. However, this intimate knowing of another person does not mean that there are never conflicts or disagreements. If you are connected with another person on a deep level, there will be disagreements. If they aren't discussed and just brushed under the rug, resentment can build and that can slowly chip away at your bond. Friendship therapy is treated similarly to marriage counseling and works to strengthen the bonds between friends says Thriveworks.

Going to a friendship therapist is a great way to air out any resentments that may be hiding between the two of you. You can break down any conflicts and slowly build an even stronger relationship base with a trained therapist acting as a neutral party. A 2015 study examined what causes friendships to decay, and failing to communicate effectively plays a huge part. Friendship therapy will open new avenues of communication and help you to strengthen your friendship so that it may continue to thrive.

We've heard the phrase "opposites attract" when it comes to significant others, and this can be the same for best friends. One person's shortcomings can be another person's strengths, and that kind of balance is important in friendships. If you are the friend who is the more aggressive communicator in the relationship, you may not always get a chance to hear what your friend is thinking. By inviting in a psychological professional, you'll not only create space for both of you to have a voice, but you'll also have an outsider negotiate who speaks and when. Whether or not you are the one who is more outspoken, it can give you peace of mind to get into a space where you can hear the concerns of your friend and you can speak your own as well.

Therapists can facilitate talking through any codependencies, resentments, conflicts, or other problems chipping away at your connection says Healthline. Your therapist will work with you both to cut down on unhealthy interactions and lean into what makes your connection special.

In every friendship, there will most likely be bumps in the road. If you care about someone deeply, it's almost impossible not to encounter conflicts. Although this sounds negative, it's actually the ultimate compliment. The comfort we have with our best friends helps us know what triggers the other, but that same comfort gives us a safe place for conflict because we know our friend isn't going anywhere says Elite Daily. Although the conflict can arise because of the level of comfort you have with each other, it doesn't make dealing with it in a healthy way any easier. 

If you decide to see a therapist with your friend, you will have a perfect opportunity to air any concerns you may have built up over the time of your friendship. This is a great way to make it so no one feels threatened when conflicts are brought up. A therapist is also there as a highly educated and neutral party, and they can serve as a referee if need be. To truly care about someone the way you hope your friend cares about you means that some conflicts may arise. By already having a friendship therapy routine, you'll experience the beauty of fully communicating in a healthy space for love and growth.

One part of being a good friend is being a caring listener. Waiting to speak and really listening are two different things. One specialty that a therapist can provide is modeling real listening. If someone takes the time to listen to what we have to say, what makes us happy, and what frustrates us, we have physical proof that this person cares. Fabriq says that most people are focused on how to progress the conversation to the next step instead of pausing while it's happening to listen carefully and empathetically. Therapists will work with each participant to learn how to really listen, and that will make all the difference in the friendship.

Learning how to listen and converse respectfully within a platonic relationship can benefit both of you in your lives outside of the friendship as well. It's a valuable skill to learn, and who better to learn it with than your best friend?

Part of being a good friend and keeping one is allowing yourself permission to be vulnerable. In her TED Talk, Dr. Brené Brown discusses her research on the power that comes from being vulnerable. She admits there can be shame and fear in vulnerability, but without it, it's difficult to get to a place of creativity and belonging. Depending on your past experiences, this may be a pretty scary endeavor to trust someone with your weaknesses, your fears, and even your desires. By inviting your bestie into a space facilitated by a therapist, you are allowing yourself the freedom to be vulnerable with your friend. By sharing a sacred part of yourself with your friend, your bond can strengthen and you can feel at home in their presence knowing there is nothing to hide. You'll also feel comforted that someone is in your corner and they can understand you more than most.

Sometimes being vulnerable means discussing issues in your life that are holding you back from ultimate happiness. Even though you share many things, your friend may not know what has been on your mind lately. In addition, you and your friend may find yourself in disagreement about different political or social views, or each other's life choices, and friendship therapy is the perfect place to try to understand each other in the healthiest way.