12 Ways To Show Yourself Self-Love Each Week
Becoming your own best friend is one of the secrets to a life truly well-lived — but it can take some work. After all, we know ourselves, and along with that knowledge comes an understanding of what makes us, well, us! Funny enough, when someone else asks that oft-dreaded question, "Tell me about yourself," many of us recoil in apprehension. Why is that? Well, it's not always easy to go into detail about yourself (especially with a stranger). But, let's try to hold our own hand and show ourselves the self-love we are due. Here's to the big bear hug we should be giving ourselves daily.
Each of us makes up a unique soul with incredible attributes, abilities, and talents. Let's celebrate all of ourselves; mind, body, and soul. Remember, perfection doesn't exist. There is nothing that can be rendered flawless except perhaps extraordinary diamonds — and what pressure, time, and friction a diamond must undergo to become judged as flawless. Remember, you can spend your whole life attempting to realize what is realistically unattainable rather than simply being cognizant of all the wonderful things you've already accomplished just by being you. There is one thing in life that will truly make a difference: love. How much love can you show yourself? That's the real question.
Speak kindly to yourself
You go through every single day with yourself in tow — along with that part of you that whispers inside your head. What messages are you sending yourself? Are they inspiring? Do they recognize your awesome self? Do they tell you positive messages? They should be. "A big part of self-love is finding that little voice inside of our head. And by noticing how we talk to ourselves, we can show ourselves compassion when an interaction or assignment doesn't go as planned," Elizabeth Jarquin, a licensed marriage and family therapist, tells Forbes.
All of us have a critic inside our heads, and while sometimes we need to recognize where we could improve, we need to be kind to ourselves as well. That inner critic can become paralyzing and leave us feeling unworthy. We don't want to allow ourselves to go there. Let's speak to ourselves in a positive fashion full of self-affirming messages. Let's remind ourselves throughout the day that we are enough just as we are. We are worthy of happiness. We are to be respected and loved by others, as well as by ourselves. We are unique and creative individuals who are to be embraced.
Celebrate small accomplishments
Let's keep our successes forefront of our minds. Every week, think of something you've accomplished. What about that extra difficult part of the hike that meandered up a hill you mastered? Celebrate it. How about the kind gesture you offered to the stranger at work? Recognize it. Remember the helping hand you gave your sister when she suddenly needed someone to babysit? The point is to be cognitive of all those good things you do throughout your day. We can easily become hyper-focused on the little mistakes we make while disregarding, or even forgetting, about the kind, ambitious, victorious things we did do.
Let's see all the wonderful things we accomplished and relish in their success rather than immediately beginning to think of the next thing we must master. How? Try doing this by being present in the moment and grateful for what you already have in life. Remember, we can't take anything with us when we die. None of the pounds we lost, degrees we earned, or material possessions we purchased will be with us. What will be there is the memory of who we were to others and ourselves. Day by day, try to make your largest accomplishments be how much you loved. This, no one will ever forget.
Practice meditation for inner peace
If you struggle with staying present in our fast-paced world, give meditation and mindfulness a go. They help teach us how to allow ourselves to appreciate and trust life in the present moment. And this isn't some mumbo-jumbo stuff — It's real life, friends. We're all the better for being able to recognize the present moment without judgment and relish in it. There are so many apps out there that help first-timers practice meditation and mindfulness, including Calm and Headspace. Plus, many of these apps offer free trials to new users. Have difficulty with anxiety or sleeplessness? Many help with these issues as well.
"Meditation and mindfulness can be great ways to help connect more with our present experiences and increase our awareness of what's happening internally," clinical psychologist Sheva Assar tells Forbes. It can be difficult to start a new practice. Oh, how we know it! Just remember, showing up is half the battle. But chances are, once you've given mindfulness a shot, you'll be glad you did. Plus, it's something you practice for the rest of your life.
Recognize that there's only one you
You are incredibly special, friend! There's no one else like you. In fact, we'll prove it. According to Science Alert, the likelihood of you being born is 1 in 400 quadrillion. So, let's celebrate our uniqueness, okay? We are worth it. Be kind to yourself and delegate only healthy boundaries with those around you. And remember to trust your gut — it's there for a reason and is often right on.
Recognizing there's only one you also goes hand-in-hand with being true to yourself. If you feel something is right for you and if it brings you joy, stay the course and do it. Continue to do whatever brings you pleasure (as long as you aren't harming yourself or others). And this doesn't mean being self-obsessed. There's a big difference. Today, it seems just about everyone posts about their "perfect" life on social media, but, believe us, it isn't perfect. It is solely a representation. We'd like you to appreciate yourself regardless of what you post.
This means prioritizing yourself because you're special and deserve to treat yourself as numero uno. Plus, you'll learn how to treat others well if you know how to treat yourself. Often, our inner discourse reflects how we treat those around us. Treat yourself well with healthy self-esteem, respect, and admiration for yourself, and others will surely notice your confidence (and do the same). That's why we speak to ourselves with love — so we may love ourselves and others as well.
Get out and exercise
When we're sending ourselves love, we tend to want to do things that are good for ourselves — mentally and physically. You may be excellent at being kind to yourself mentally, but if you aren't fueling your body with physical self-love, you may not be reaping all the benefits. One obvious way to show yourself self-love is to regularly hit the pavement. A power walk or run is a healthy way to keep yourself active, healthy, and in a good frame of mind. And, of course, it keeps diseases such as diabetes and certain cancers at bay.
Of course, there are tons of ways to practice staying active, including hiking, dancing, yoga, and swimming. Plus, staying active gives you more energy. Make it a habit that you can follow through with for the rest of your life. This is one of the premium proofs of self-love that simultaneously cultivates intellectual self-love as well. In the wise words of John F. Kennedy: "Physical fitness is not only one of the most important keys to a healthy body, it is the basis of dynamic and creative intellectual activity" (via Womansday).
Accept your imperfections
None of us are perfect, and honestly, that's what keeps life interesting. Just imagine if everyone was perfect. One word: boring! So, next time you find yourself criticizing yourself for whatever it is you did that wasn't the best, remember, none of us — not even your favorite A-list celebrities — are perfect.
"Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky," poet Rabindranath Tagore said in "Stray Birds" (via Goodreads). Indeed, our imperfections can be seen as pure rain clouds. But, as a cloud can bring beauty, so can our imperfections.
Truth be told, none of us will ever reach the heights of so-called perfection. So what do we do? We accept ourselves. We accept who we are with our faults, flaws, and mistakes. Then, we pick ourselves up, learn from our mistakes, and become the best version we can of our imperfect selves.
Embrace your uniqueness
We are complicated human beings, and life can be a bit messy. So let's remember to show ourselves love by embracing our uniqueness. Celebrate the things you do, the hobbies you enjoy, and the talents you have that make you an extraordinary you. Think about all the small things that make you tick and enjoy life.
Perhaps there's even something you like that makes you a little quirky. Maybe you collect lizards and know everything about this remarkable creature. Or perhaps you like to bead extravagant necklaces. Do you excel at salsa dancing? Are you a wizard at technology? Do you have the perfect selfie pose mastered?
Whatever it is that makes you different from the next is indeed an excuse to smile! And it's also something you may very well end up teaching another person. Remember, sharing your knowledge is often a way to perfect it while keeping it alive and exciting.
Try writing in a gratitude diary
One easy way to show yourself some love is to write out the things for which you're thankful. A gratitude journal helps us recall all the good things that have happened in our lives. Simply write out the things you're grateful for and why. This is a no-stress activity; it doesn't have to be in correct grammar or even make sense. The point of a gratitude journal is to become more aware of what you are already grateful for in the present moment.
Practicing gratitude also shifts the focus from your future hopes and dreams that haven't yet been realized to one of present abundance and gratefulness. The neat thing about this is that you can write it anytime; it doesn't have to be written in an actual journal. You can easily put things in the Notes app on your phone while on the subway or literally write little notes to yourself on random pieces of paper that you put into a gratefulness box. How you do it doesn't matter. But actually doing it should make a difference and is just another little way you can show yourself some simple acts of self-love.
Forgive yourself for your setbacks
There are so many things that tempt us to get upset with our latest so-called failures. Maybe you didn't hit the gym every day last week as you hoped. Perhaps you didn't get that new job. Or maybe you and that ideal partner you thought was "the one" have broken up. We must remember life is full of variables that are often out of our control, even despite our best efforts. Plus, failure can be a good thing.
Don't let yourself begin to go into that dark zone where you berate yourself for whatever it is that may not have worked out as you would have preferred. And preferred is the word, folks. Sometimes, the best gift we will ever receive is what didn't happen. This one can indeed be challenging. Most of us hold ourselves up to a very high standard. We want to do things right and be a success. We want to make it, achieve it, look great, perform at an A+ level, and be all-around fabulous.
And while these endeavors are worthy and push us to be our best selves, they can also be paralyzing and actually prevent us from doing anything at all. Setting the bar too high is often a recipe for failure. Why? Because you may be making goals that are unrealistic and incredibly challenging to realize. The result is a feeling of failure — and failures we are not. We are powerful. We are forceful. We are amazing. We simply don't always get what we had planned or hoped for, and that's okay.
Allow others to love the wondrous you
Part of loving ourselves means allowing others into our inner world to see what makes us special. All of us have incredible attributes that make us unforgettable. So let yours shine! Be you! Dance that sultry tango! Show off those watercolor drawings of your dog. Display your most recent purchase of purple combat boots. Read aloud your latest heart-wrenching poem. Letting others into your world is a fantastic way to not only show yourself self-love but allow others to do the same.
So dare to share your dreams with others; it may just influence them to open up to you in return. All of us bring something different to the table. This is what makes life a deliciously delectable meal full of flavors coming from all over the globe.
Sometimes we may forget what makes us so loveable. This is the time to lean on your family and dear friends. Allow them to be your reminder. Let them be a megaphone shouting out your wonderful qualities. We all need a pep talk from time to time. And sometimes, all we need is to feel seen and appreciated for who we really are. When we open up and allow others to love us, they can be there on those tough days when we really could use that extra bit of love.
Let the inner critic go away for good
We're often harder on ourselves than others would ever dream of being. Think about this: Would you allow someone else to speak to you in the negative fashion that you sometimes speak to yourself? The answer is probably not. That inner critic may be beneficial for keeping us on our toes to achieve our highest potential, but this is where it needs to stop.
Let's build ourselves up by speaking kindly to ourselves, not berating ourselves for all our "failures." Besides, by thinking of the positives in our life, we often change our moods. We become more joyful and grateful, which in turn makes us more fun to be around and accepting of ourselves.
"By complimenting ourselves regularly, it starts to shift the relationship we have with ourselves as well as our mindset. We are essentially training ourselves to focus on the positives, which create more positive feelings," marriage and family therapist, Elizabeth Jarquin tells Forbes. So let that inner critic go away — and don't invite it back.
Reward yourself with treats of kindness
Make it a ritual to reward yourself each week with something nice. You'll come to love this new habit of yours as it will become commonplace. We do so much — sometimes too much — every day. So, treating yourself to some self-love kindness is exactly what the niceness doctor ordered. And it doesn't have to be something extravagant (although that's okay too!) Think of spending the afternoon cuddling with your animals as you binge-watch your favorite show. Or, treat yourself to an afternoon of self-indulgence to the tune of a spa manicure and pedicure.
Let yourself go as you get the deluxe treatment of a salt scrub and hot stones placed on your feet. It is good for you to treat yourself! Too expensive? Consider hosting a lowkey Saturday night potluck in your PJs with your close friends. Not interested in having the crew over? Then think about heading to the nearest body of water with a great book or your Kindle. The ocean, lakes, rivers, and even small ponds can do wonders for the soul.
"Humans love being around water because something about it is inherently calming," neuropsychologist Sanam Hafeez tells Real Simple. "Bodies of water have a dream-like quality to them, much like clouds, and allow us to see different shapes and imagine limitless possibilities. Just staring at water allows our minds to be still and peaceful." Indeed, being inside and around water provokes happiness. So, dive in, and say hello to another simple act of self-love.