Is It A Problem If Your First Love Is Your Only Love?

There is nothing like falling in love for the first time. It's exciting and scary, and you feel on top of the world. If you're lucky, you get to experience falling in love at least once, or you might even fall for several different people throughout the course of your life, and that's okay, too. Perhaps, you married your highschool sweetheart, and now the two of you have kids. Your best friend, on the other hand, is in her third serious relationship, having fallen in and out of love a few times before.

You're incredibly happy with how your life turned out, but sometimes, you can't help but think if you missed out by only loving one person. Is your bestie better off because she's loved more than once, or is she the one missing out? Is your first love your soulmate, or are they a placeholder while your real soulmate is somewhere waiting for you? You might feel guilty for even having any doubts, but it's a normal thing to think about. The question is, is it a problem if your first love is your only love?

We all know FOMO exists, and right now, it might be hitting you super hard. According to TechTarget, the fear of missing out is created by our own anxiety, which tells us we're being deprived of an opportunity or experience. In this case, that experience is being in love more than once. When your first love is your only one, it can feel like you're being excluded from some secret club, but there is no rule in the book of life that says you have to have strong feelings for multiple people.

There's absolutely no problem if your first love is your only love. If you've been in love with the same person — and that person only — for 10 years and you feel fulfilled, but you fear that you're missing out by not dating other people, remember that it's just your anxiety. Ask yourself, is it worth throwing those 10 years away to maybe find someone else you love more? Are you willing to sit through multiple bad first dates, just because you think you have to? The choice is yours.

While there's no issue staying with your first love forever, you may discover more about yourself by falling in love with different people. You learn what you do and don't like in a partner, the boundaries you'd like to set, and how you want to be loved, otherwise known as your love language. Being in multiple relationships gives you the opportunity to figure these things out. Think about it — if you've only slept with one person your entire life, it can be more difficult to know what you really like.

It's nice being able to compare past partners to determine what exactly you want in a relationship. Maybe partner A was really good at communicating, but never took initiative to make plans. Then there was partner B, who always made you their first priority, but didn't want you to meet their family. You come to understand your wants and needs, which you can take with you into the dating world.

However, that isn't to say you can't figure out these things with your first and only love. Ultimately, love isn't a competition. We're all doing it on our own terms, and that's okay.