The Case For Forging A Friendship With Your BFF's Partner, Because Why Not?

Best friends are essential. When we're out having a blast with our BFF, we may not realize just how important they are — in all ways — because we're too busy having fun and loving every bit of that friend. Rarely do we take a step back to see all the mental and emotional benefits that come with having a best friend.

Research has found that close friendships are just as important as food, water, and even oxygen. Best friends keep blood pressure low and can help protect against mental health illnesses, heart disease, and even cancer. All our best friends need to do is be our best friend and so many of our health-related issues can be kept in check. Experts may not label best friends as a cure-all, but they certainly seem like they are.

At some point, however, that best friend may meet someone whom they consider the cat's pajamas — and romance-worthy — and things start to change. Suddenly, your two-person bubble has been infiltrated by a potential love interest and all the time you spent with your BFF starts to diminish. It's not that your best friend's love for you decreases, but they're just now making room in their life for a romantic partner. While it might be easy to dismiss your best friend's partner and decide to keep your distance from them, when it comes to BFF code, that's a bad move. You may not realize it initially, but befriending your BFF's partner is a win for everyone.

Being best friends with someone means showing up for them and always being there. It means having their back in all situations and readying your shoulder for them in case they need a proper cry. Friendships are about supporting each other through thick and thin, especially when that friendship is BFF level. 

Even if your best friend never asks you to approve of or support their relationship, deep down they want you to. They want to know that you love and respect them enough to be happy for them and their new partner, even if it's not exactly easy at first. Let's be honest: We all believe no one will ever be good enough to date any of our close friends, but that's also a mentality we need to let go of. Stepping up to the plate and letting your guard down — no matter how protective you are of your BFF — shows maturity. It also shows you're willing to let this new romantic partner in and give them a chance to win you over.

Although the people we date in high school and in our early 20s may come and go, at some point we're going to find the person we consider "the one." This becomes more and more the case as people get older, start settling down, marrying, buying a home together, and having kids. It's no longer about casual dating, but something serious that just might last forever.

If your BFF has reached that stage in their life, it's paramount to forge a friendship with their partner. At this point, their significant other is going to be around for a quite a while. Accepting them and welcoming them into your life with open arms doesn't just show your best friend you're willing to make the effort to really know this person your BFF is in love with, but also that you care enough to make their partner not just feel like they belong, but know they belong.

When people hate their best friend's romantic partner, it can create a lot of turmoil. It's hurtful to not just the partner in question but especially to your best friend. When we hate someone who someone we care about loves, we're basically saying that they have bad taste in partners, and we don't respect them for the choices in who they love. This can cause a couple of problems.

"The problem with confronting someone about their partner is that it forces them to think of reasons to justify why they are with that partner," counselor and relationship expert David Bennett told Bustle. "So, every time you bring up a friend's partner's faults, it causes them to defend their partner, which further reinforces their decision to be with them."

When people try to justify their choices, it just pushes them even further into the arms of their partner — which will include alienating you. Or it might become so hurtful that your BFF ultimately chooses their partner over you altogether. But if you make the effort to be friends with your BFF's partner or, at the very least, see something good in them, then you won't run the risk of losing one of the most important people in your life.

Becoming close with your best friend's partner ensures that you won't miss out on too much of your BFF's life. In becoming their partner's friend too, you're setting all three of you up to have a great time together — especially if your BFF isn't put in the position of being forced to choose between spending time with you or spending time with their partner. Also, as anyone of a certain age knows, it's not easy to make friends as an adult. While there are those who work in offices who have access to possible friendships with coworkers, for those who work remotely — and there are a lot of us — meeting people with whom we can form friendships is near-impossible. We either have apps geared toward finding people for platonic relationships or must rely on our friends. So when your BFF gets a romantic partner and you actually think they're great, then it gives you the opportunity to claim a new friend of your own. 

There really is no downside to becoming friends with your BFF's partners. There are only benefits. Even if at first you're not sure if their partner is your cup of tea, think of it this way: your BFF is your BFF for a reason. If someone out there sees all the amazing things in them that you do, then that person — your best friend's romantic partner — just might be your second BFF in the making.