The Seemingly Harmless Phrase That Doesn't Belong In Your Dating Profile

Putting together a dating profile that's going to pique the interest of strangers is no small feat. You have to choose the right language to sell yourself, the best photos that capture who you are, and you also want to toss in some lines that show you're funny and are truly a catch. 

Because mastering the art of creating a dating profile involves a lot of effort and curation, experts have a long list of dos and a longer list of don'ts. For example, no group photos, no photos with sunglasses, no selfies, no negativity, no clichés, and do double check that grammar! It really is a whole thing and even when you're done putting together a profile that you feel, in your heart, is as super as they come, not everyone who comes across it is going to see it as the stellar work of art it is. Oh, the joys of online dating.

But of all the don'ts that come with putting together your dating profile, there's one in particular that seems completely innocuous. It feels so harmless, in fact, that you might even have this "don't" in your dating profile and had no idea that it might be turning people off. You might want to sit down for this, because there's a chance your mind will be blown.

"Good vibes only." Surprised? 

In recent years, this phrase has been used to describe a place, situation, or even a person that's all about feeling good and keeping the negative faraway. It's about leaving the drama at the door and embracing everything in a positive light. Although where the phrase came from isn't exactly clear, it appears to come out of the 1960s. At the time, The Beach Boys had a song called "Good Vibrations," and in 1967 the Monterey Pop Festival had a tagline about only "producing nothing but good vibes." The 1960s counterculture of the time was the embodiment of putting pleasure first and feeling good every moment of the day — in a haze of pot smoke, of course.

These days this phrase, as wells as the term "vibes" in general, is no longer used by just Boomers or hippie-minded people. It's used by anyone who feels that it accurately sums up a relaxed, carefree, and drama-free environment. Or, in the case of dating, a cozy relationship void of the stuff that can bring a relationship down — you know, the human stuff.

There are a couple of issues with "good vibes only." For starters, it perpetuates toxic positivity. As much as positivity is an important aspect of living a happy life, there is such a thing as too much positivity that forces people to live in denial or avoid the whole spectrum of human emotions, including the sad ones. If you don't let yourself feel anger, sadness, and all the other emotions that may be dark in nature, then you can't fully experience and appreciate happy emotions. One can't exist without the other.

When you have that phrase in your in dating profile, it basically suggests that you're only into having a good time and when things become too real, you're going to bail. You're essentially limiting someone else's difficult experiences all while making yourself look emotionally unavailable. No one wants to date someone, especially fall in love with someone who can't stomach what it means to be human. Humans are messy, they can be negative, scared, complicated, and a whole slew of other emotions — emotions that can spill over and become less-than-attractive reactions sometimes. 

If you want to seem approachable and like you're in for the ups and downs that come with a relationship, then ditch "good vibes only" now. Everyone likes positive energy, so you don't need to state the obvious, especially in a way that's alienating.