How To Cope With Post-Wedding Anxiety

During wedding planning, anxiety is common, as this season of life is filled with lots of decision-making, back and forth with vendors, and sometimes drama among family or friends. After the big day, some may assume that besides a mild case of sorrow about the festivities coming to a close, brides and grooms should only feel happiness and relief. However, for many married couples, this is simply not the case, as anxiety can persist even after this life-altering event. As Brides points out, while many are familiar with post-wedding sadness, some have never heard about the stress that can also occur.

Anxious feelings are common for brides and grooms after their wedding for two reasons. First, because they've just experienced such a large and important event, it's natural to continue to feel stressed. Second, if they manage to keep it together before the wedding, all their emotions will most likely need to be released at some point. If you're battling post-wedding feelings, we've listed five of the best ways to cope.

As stated, while pre-wedding stress is frequently discussed, post-wedding anxiety is more taboo. This could be because married couples don't want to admit they're experiencing negative emotions out of fear that some may assume they're not happy with their partner. However, the truth is that your emotions most likely have nothing to do with your partner and everything to do with how monumental the event was that you just finished planning.

In fact, according to MyCounselor Online, almost every married person experiences some type of worry or depression after the wedding. Because of this, it may be helpful to come clean to your partner about how you're feeling since they may be experiencing some of the same emotions. Or, if you have a fellow married person in your life that you can trust and understand what you're going through, you could confide in them as well.

Keep in mind, much of your anxiety may be fueled by worry about minor details that happened or didn't happen on your wedding day, as per Brides. For instance, it's common for brides and grooms to be concerned with how their wedding was perceived by their guests or to regret their dress or suit choice. Some may wonder if they should have chosen different songs, if there was enough dessert, or if they'll like their pictures once they get them back from the photographer.  

A great way to start getting over some of these stressors is to focus all your attention on your marriage, not the wedding. To do this, you could prioritize your relationship by going on dates or having deep conversations more often. Because the stress of planning before the big day can be draining, this may be exactly what your relationship needs, and it could keep your mind off of some of those worrisome details.

Similarly, calling to mind the true purpose of your wedding day can also help you release some of those anxious thoughts. Oftentimes, engaged couples get caught up in how their wedding looks to others, whether that be their guests or those who see the images on social media (via Brides). However, the purpose of your big day is not to entertain or to show off. Instead, it's to commit to your partner and begin your life together.

Those who are not yet married but are in the process of planning could also benefit from this advice, as keeping the true intent in mind may help you avoid anxious thoughts both before and after your wedding. Additionally, it'll help make decisions not based on how they will look to others, but if they're truly what you and your partner want. Then, once the wedding is over, you may feel more at peace, knowing that every decision you made was the best choice for you and your spouse. 

Of course, this tip is much easier said than done, but it's still important to understand: don't overthink. Something that may help you get past some of your anxious thoughts is considering that many of the things you're concerned about probably weren't even noticed by your guests. Try to recall what you can from weddings that you have attended as a guest in the past. Unless you're a wedding planner or just really love these events, many of the small details, like the flowers, colors, decorations, or song choices, probably didn't stand out to you all that much.

If you're having trouble letting go, change your thought process. Instead of worrying that you chose the wrong dress or that your guests didn't love your centerpieces, be grateful that you were able to have these elements at your wedding. Or, instead of convincing yourself that all your guests were judging your design choices, remember that everyone who attended was there to support you and your spouse.

If your anxiety feels overwhelming, make sure you seek help. The first step may be talking to your partner, as their sympathy could improve things tremendously. You could also reach out to family and friends who could provide you with advice or reassurance that your feelings are valid.

However, if your anxiety persists, don't be ashamed to ask for help from a therapist. Licensed professionals could assist you in discovering the underlying reasons why you're feeling the way you are and in seeing the bigger picture. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It's actually a sign of strength that you can recognize when you need support. Further, don't worry that seeking therapy after the wedding might cause some people to assume there's something wrong with your marriage. Instead, remember that getting guidance demonstrates that you have not only a healthy relationship with your partner but also with yourself. 

If you or someone you know needs help with mental health, please contact the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741, call the National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264), or visit the National Institute of Mental Health website.