What Are People Who Are Enneagram Type One Like In A Relationship?

If you're on a self-discovery journey, the Enneagram could be very beneficial to you. This system of personality categorizes people into nine types, each with its own motivations, traits, and approach to life. To discover which type you are, you could take the Riso-Hudson Enneagram Type Indicator.

According to the Enneagram Institute, if you're a type one, you may often be described as perfectionistic, organized, or moral. Labeled 'The Reformer,' this type has a clear sense of what's right and wrong and feels that they must always live up to these standards. Their main mission in life is to improve both themselves and their surroundings, so they are always striving to be better and believe that things can always be improved. Ones have an inner voice of criticism that causes them to strive to be perfect. Further, because they are often very self-controlled, others may perceive them as emotionless or closed off, but this is only because they often control themselves so well. When in a relationship, type ones are typically unafraid of commitment but may also be overly critical of their partner. 

According to a 2021 survey conducted by Truity, which involved over 88,000 people, ones are the least likely to be single. Their data shows that 62% of ones are in a relationship, and many of them are serious or long-term.

This may surprise some since one's perfectionistic standards may be difficult for their partner to live up to. However, there are actually a number of reasons why ones may be more inclined to stay with a partner for longer than the other types. Because ones believe that everything can be bettered, this may cause them to hold onto hope that a relationship could improve. Further, because ones often suppress their emotions, large arguments may be avoided, and while this may not be the healthiest way to approach conflict, it could cause a relationship to last longer. Finally, if a one believed that commitment was overall morally right, they would continue to stay rigid in this belief. Similarly, they may also have strong convictions about things like cheating, which could cause them to be an overall morally upright partner. 

However, because they are ruled by their inner critic which points out every imperfection both inside themselves and in their external world, ones can sometimes be overly critical of others, especially those they are closest to. This could manifest itself in the type one always insisting that their partner could try harder or complete a task in a better way. Because they have such a clear sense of right and wrong, they may think that their beliefs are the only right way to think and may disregard the opinions of their partner. 

Further, because ones are usually very hard on themselves, they may find it difficult to take criticism from others. Therefore, if you're in a relationship with a one, ease into criticism with grace. It may be helpful to consider that, as much as a one may be judgmental towards you, they're probably much more judgmental towards themselves, per The Good Trade.