How To Get Out Of A Dry Text Convo And Keep Things Interesting

Imagine this: you're doom-scrolling on Tinder, not impressed with any of the potential love interests coming your way, swiping left like your finger is stuck, and then boom! You come across someone who is Just. Your. Type. The eyes. The funny profile. The cute cat on their lap! You swipe right, and it's a match! Immediately you send them a fun and flirty message to get the ball rolling, and the reply is ... not great. Instead, it's a version of: "Hi. What's up?" or "If you want to know, just ask!" or "NM, U? DTF?" Ugh.

My friend, you've just been caught up in the all-feared-but-often-unavoidable phenomenon known as "dry texting." This happens when the person you are engaging with online offers one-word answers, doesn't ask you anything, and has nothing but dry conversational skills (per TF20s). There's no oomph, no pizzaz, no joie-de-vivre!

Don't worry, if you're burdened with this affliction, you're not alone. A 2021 study found that more than half of Tinder convos die literally after the first message (via Towards Data Science). That means you have a 57% chance of your first message being left on read. Online dating is dog-eat-dog these days. Luckily, there are ways to avoid the dreaded dry text and liven up your convo skills.

Trying to find ways to break out of the dreaded dry text trap can be a daunting task when you don't know where to start, but there are tips and tricks to try, according to dating experts. Insider spoke with a relationship and marriage counselor Marisa T. Cohen, Ph.D., who offered up these prompts — which make up a fun game of "Would You Rather" — to try the next time you're stuck in a texting rut: "Would you rather spend a weekend at home watching Netflix in PJs or being up and out early, enjoying the day?" "Would you rather be able to control your future or change the past?" "Would you rather have all of the money in the world or all of the time in the world?"

Once you've got your Tinder match chatting, you can up your game by taking it to the next level with photos. No, not "send n00ds" (unless that's consented to, of course!). EliteDaily spoke with matchmaker Julie Spira, who suggested that if you know your convo-partner is out and about in the world, invite them to send selfies of themselves going about their day. It's a fun way to get a glimpse into their sphere. Spira says, "Compliment them on their photo quickly to keep the conversation flowing."

If you're still struggling after implementing these strategies, you could always employ the skills of a texting coach — yes, that's a real profession! — like Text Weapon founder Claudia Cox. But even with professional help, you must be on your guard, because things could still fall by the wayside. 

When it's time to meet in the real life, it's at this point that some people experience a resurgence of dry texting. The Guardian's dating advice columnist Eva says it's a good idea to give up on a convo, and the dream of a real date with this person, when you can see the connection is fading. "If someone doesn't want to meet up with you after a few chatty exchanges, I don't think it's a great investment of your time to keep talking in the hopes that they'll come around to the idea," Eva advises. In other words, know when to fold 'em and when to walk away from the convo.

Despite the challenge of getting over the dry texting curve, there is reason to have hope and persevere. In 2019, engaged couples were surveyed and it turned out that 22% of all those betrothed had actually met on dating sites (via The Knot). If you think that number is low, it turns out that the percentage is higher than those who met via friends or in the workplace.