The Dating Apps You Should Be On If You Lead A Sober Lifestyle

We live in a very alcohol-centric culture. We drink when we celebrate, we drink when we're sad, we drink at Happy Hour, and who hasn't picked up a bottle of wine on the way home from work so you can relax with a few glasses while watching "The Office" for the 50^th time? Drinking is so ingrained in our society that it takes true courage to not only admit you have a problem with alcohol but actually take the steps to work on that problem. And, even when these people do, sometimes the cards are against them. According to The Recovery Village, almost one-third of alcoholics will have a relapse in their first year of sobriety and 70% will relapse at some point during their lifetime. 

"Alcoholism is a disease that is often a combination of factors ... people born with a strong family history of addiction have an uphill battle to avoid it themselves," Nicole Martinez, Psy.D., LCPC, tells Bustle. "There is also the factor of addiction and what it does to the brain. Taking substances literally alters the brain — the way it functions, the way they think."

Because sobriety is such a difficult process and temptations are everywhere, dating can be a struggle for those with addiction. There's not only that awkward conversation of explaining your sobriety to someone new, but social settings can really test someone's willpower and commitment to their sobriety. That's why sober dating apps are essential in making people feel less alone in their recovery and search for love.

If you or anyone you know needs help with addiction issues, help is available. Visit the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website or contact SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).

The Clean and Sober Love dating app (CASL) boasts more than 30,000 members with the same mission, according the site, "the common goal of sobriety." CASL was launched in 2017 by Joaquin Barreda. Barreda, who's struggled with addiction throughout his life and is now eight years sober, wanted to create an app that would match sober people with other people who knew the process and hard work that goes into sobriety. 

Similar to other apps, CASL uses the swiping feature to find other sober singles in the area, and like other sober dating apps also includes tips to staying sober, as well as recommendations for rehabilitation and treatment centers based on your geographical location. In other words, there's both help for addiction and the potential for love all in the palm of your hand.

Barreda's commitment to sobriety extends past just CASL and even into a treatment center, Mastermind Care, that he opened in Florida in 2020 with his partner. 

Although it finds itself on the list of sober dating apps, Loosid is much more than that. Instead of just being about sober people finding other sober people to date, Loosid is about staying clean as an entire lifestyle (via Healthy Framework). Because of this, making love connections isn't the primary goal. With Loosid, the big draw is getting people who are already living the sober lifestyle together and connecting them on different levels. There are opportunities to chat with other sober people, endless resources to help those in their sobriety and recovery process, and similar sober-related features that aren't just about dating.

According to Loosid's website, their mission is the "belief that being sober isn't the end of the good times, but the start," and boasts a community of American members that is 144 million deep. The app even offers a sobriety and addiction mentor for those who need it.

What's cool about the Single and Sober dating app is that it offers help for not just those who are sober but people who are dating someone who is sober. If someone doesn't struggle with addiction, trying to wrap their brain around it and the components of such a debilitating disease can be difficult. It's hard to understand how some people can drink and not have a problem while others can't even take a sip without their life slipping into chaos. It's for these people who don't know addiction intimately that Single and Sober has articles for, like How to Date Someone Who is Sober and similar type posts, as well as posts geared toward their members who are sober. 

According to Single and Sober's site, "dating in recovery is possible and sober dating is our specialty." So if you think you're far enough along in your recovery and ready to date, then Single and Sober might be for you. 

You may not think of Hinge as a sober dating app, and while it isn't marketed as such, it is sober-friendly. Whereas other traditional dating apps don't acknowledge alcohol consumption or drug use, Hinge gives its members the opportunity to list just how much they drink, do drugs, or smoke. In regards to these topics, you can choose from "never" to "frequently" — whichever best describes you — then, if you are sober, you can clarify your "never" in your profile (via Soba Recovery). 

Granted, because this app isn't solely for sober people, you may get swiped on by someone who isn't sober or stumble across someone who seems fantastic but drinks — which may or may not be a problem depending on where you are in your recovery; it's up to you and what feels right. Nevertheless, hinge is a great option for those who are sober but don't necessarily want to be on a sober app.

When it comes to sober dating apps, 12 Step Match markets itself as the "original" dating app for those in recovery. 12 Step Match gets its name from Alcoholics Anonymous' "The Big Book" theory that you shouldn't get into a romantic relationship until you've been sober for at least one year (via American Addiction Centers). What's great about 12 Step Match is that you'll meet others in recovery, instead of those who maybe just don't drink because they don't want to or those who are flirting with sobriety, so you'll both understand the struggles of addiction, and ways to help support each other in your sobriety.

Although people tend to talk a lot of smack about dating apps, especially those of us who are on them, apps that gear themselves toward certain people and their specific struggles are important. It can't be stated enough how brave and strong one has to be to admit that they have a problem and do what it takes to control that problem. Sober dating apps are, for many, a lifeline in their recovery journey.