What Is 'Sadfishing'? Don't Miss This Red Flag

These days, it feels like there's a new TikTok term for every aspect of online behavior. We have catfishing and wokefishing, and let's not forget about all the narcissists on social media for whom gray rocking is the best solution. Now, get ready for the latest social media red flag: sadfishing. Social media platforms such as Instagram and TikTok are typically the breeding grounds for these labels, but this time, we owe the name "sadfishing" to British author and journalist Rebecca Reid, who first coined the term in 2019.

But what exactly is sadfishing? To better understand this phenomenon, Glam spoke to Dr. Kate Balestrieri, a licensed psychologist, certified sex therapist, and founder of Modern Intimacy, who revealed everything you need to know about this all-too-common behavior. "Sadfishing is a relatively new term that describes the act of someone exaggerating their emotional struggles online, often to gain sympathy, attention, or validation from their audience," Dr. Balestrieri told Glam during an exclusive chat. "It's like fishing for sympathy, using exaggerated or dramatic expressions of distress as the bait. While it can stem from a genuine place of needing support, it often involves amplifying one's issues beyond their true scope." We all know someone who is guilty of sadfishing — even, perhaps, ourselves at times — but if you're struggling to navigate a relationship with a habitual sadfisher, there are a few things you should know.

While it's true that not everyone who divulges vulnerable thoughts and feelings online is hungry for sympathy and attention, it's becoming increasingly difficult to differentiate between a case of sadfishing and someone desperate for help. "Discerning between genuine distress and sadfishing can be challenging because emotional expression is subjective, and varies greatly from person to person," Dr. Kate Balestrieri exclusively told Glam. "However, if someone consistently posts highly emotional content and it always seems to coincide with a need for attention or validation, it might be a red flag."

In the case of the latter, the specific language in a post or the replies in the comment section may reveal typical sadfishing behavior. If the individual's post come across as "overly dramatic" or includes "theatrical expressions of emotions that seem out of proportion to the situation," it's safe to say you're witnessing a bout of sadfishing, Dr. Balestrieri explained. Conversely, someone displaying genuine signs of distress may be more receptive to advice and eager to make changes to improve their situation. However, the absence of progress might indicate sadfishing or, in some cases, that the individual feels stuck and is unable to find the help they need, per Dr. Balestrieri. "Also, note how someone engages with responses. If they quickly move on after receiving attention or repeatedly escalate their claims, it could be indicative of sadfishing," Dr. Balestrieri added.

While you might feel tempted to confront a "sadfisher" from a place of admonishment, Dr. Kate Balestrieri suggests a healthier course of action. There's no easy way to handle sadfishing, but it helps to strike up a conversation from a place of kindness and empathy by acknowledging the other person's feelings and preparing "constructive solutions" in advance, according to Dr. Balestrieri. "You might consider reaching out privately to offer your support," Dr. Balestrieri shared exclusively with Glam, as "[s]ometimes, what people need most is a real connection rather than public attention." This is a much more productive approach and will increase your chances of making a difference, while aggressively calling out the other person and expecting them to immediately cease their behavior is less likely to result in a positive outcome.

That said, keep in mind that if all your interactions require an exhausting level of validation and reassurance rather than discussions of realistic or concrete solutions, it would be wise to then suggest they seek further support from a licensed mental health professional. According to Dr. Balestrieri, you should also set boundaries if someone's sadfishing begins to affect you negatively: "You can limit your engagement while still expressing concern for their well-being." A simple, well-intentioned comment can go a long way for them, and then you can go about your day without being weighed down.

Ultimately, "[u]nderstanding and addressing sadfishing requires a balance of empathy, skepticism, and support," Dr. Balestrieri concluded. "By offering genuine care and encouraging positive steps, you can help someone navigate their emotional landscape more healthily."